Izod

I was just going through some books and found the little card from Ben Silver the clothing catalog from my 50th B-Day.It was a pale blue Izod golf shirt from Mr.@Mrs. Dalton and the card reads "Looks good on the links or in a Privet Hedge."I think that was Wildman's sly remark about my 40th B-Day and the first L.A. story I've put here.In those days I sometimes slept at the office on my nice couch and that night I was there and walked a few blocks over to the Italian Restaurant my neighbor was a witer/manager at.It was about a week after my 40th so it was a cool Feb. night and after dinner and a bottle of wine I moved to the Bar where the owner Tony started pouring me Pernods.I was taking Vicadin for a sore knee that night along with trips to the bathroom for snuff breaks.Things got real warm and cozy at the bar but I was feeling no pain.A few hours later I come to walking down a sidewalk by the Wilshire Country Club which is like 6 miles away from the Restaurant.I stop on the sidewalk and its like I'm in some strange Star-Trek episode.Last thing I recall I was at the bar at Guidos and now I'm walking down a quiet street.The problem was when I came to walking the Vicadin took over and I kept walking a few steps then falling face first on the sidewalk.After a bit of this I found a nice big hedge crawled under it and went to sleep.Next thing I know some private neighborhood security car is flashing his spotlight on me and telling me to get up or he will call the police.(Never pick a Country Club Area to be messed up).I told him I was trying to get home and would he drive me to Wilshire and one of the highrise Condos so I could call a Cab.He tells me no and I stumble off falling flat a few times again while he's driving along real slow with the spotlight on me and next thing I know I walk into a lobby of a Condo on Wilshire and see myself in the mirror.My face is all bloodied from falling,my shirt has blood stains all over it and I tell the counter guy I need a cab and that some guys beat me up.The cab comes and I get in and the cabbie is one of the guys I know just coming on his shift.He tells me I look like someone beat you up and what the hell happened to you?I ask him the time and by now it is 5:oo the next morning.I tell him to take me to work where I go in the side door and crash on my couch.At 11:30 the next morn I wake up and call another cab,walk past our shipping guy mumbling something about tripping over something in my office and go home.The amazing thing is no one came in my office that morning or seemed to know I was there.I get home and take my clothes off and my knees and elbows are all bloodied and skinned from falling and my nose is all scraped up.I find out the next day my buddy had someone take me home but my apt keys were at work so he dropped me off when I said I'd take the bus back over to work.During my "walk" I crossed two major streets had a pocket full of cash and"snuff".That I did not get rolled ,hit or busted was amazing.The shirt came clean in the wash,I still have it and I stayed away from Vicadin and Pernod for a month or so.