Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Lizards
Well I used to spend Xmass and some summer weeks at RP'S in Fla.One trip rp and a few of his friends took me to a place called"Tootsies" I thought it was an odd name for a bar and upon entering I was dismayed to find it was one of these "lap dance" bars.Now I pretended to enjoy myself so to get along with the guys.I usually sat at the bar and read the sports page while rp and his gang did the hoochie koochie thing."Squinsh Down" was one of his favorite sayings as the dancers I guess told him to do this to get lower in the chair.One night a friend of his buddies from Chicago came with us.He was wearing shorts and had a big cigar in his mouth.When he got up from the lap dance it looked like chuck had a large cigar in his shorts.That was amusing.Another night I looked up from my reading to find rp waving my American Express card and yelling"More Chips!" I found out that these purchased in place of money were used for the"lap dances"How rp got my American Express card I'm not sure but he and my brother had picked my pocket after I fell asleep at a New Years eve party at Russ Smiths house years before and taken my little jar of snuff and all my cash so he has fast fingers.Anyhoo at RP'S house there were all these little lizards running around by his pool humping each other on the chairs on the rocks just about anywhere.One morning his brother Tom and I were lounging by the pool and witnessed a lizard three way.I remarked to him that the lizards were getting more action than RP and his group of deviants.
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3 comments:
If I recall the dancers at Tootsies had a nick name for Jabel..........Hmmmmm, could it be Mr. Chips
One friday night while Mr. Chips was in town Ann and I had people over for cocktails.
When people started to leave Mr. Chips was begging to go to Tootsies, I finally broke down, and of course all Ann said was be careful (famous last words Ann said that to me alot)
My car was in the garage so Iput the door up and jumped in the driver side and John the passenger side. I put The Eagles in the tape deck, put the car in reverse and started to back-up. Take it easy never sounded so bad, I thought it must be the tape deck. I turned to take the tape out of the deck and in Mr. Chips hand is the garage door remote, he looks atand drops it on the floor. Shit! John what the ____ did you do?
I didn't touch anything. The hell you didn't I just drove through the garage door.
Well, I got out of the car, Ann and some remaining party guests were having a great laugh.
Ann said, good job Russ you made it halfway out of the garage .
If I recall Mr. Chips AmEx took a real hard hit that night. It was champagne for all the girls.
Stay tuned for more Mr. Chips stories
I must say that if rp keeps writing like this he'll be on the NYTimes bestseller list for fiction.The garage door of course never went up.He just backed through it.His screen door into the house from the pool was defective also.It never slid open when one tried to walk into the house.
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